Trauma Bonding

In my last posting I mentioned that I had spent 4 days and nights in the hospital with a friend who was recovering from surgery. Since then I've noticed something interesting, helpful, and reassuring.

This experience was exceptionally difficult for so many reasons. The sleep deprivation was immense; watching my friend be in horrible pain with no relief was almost unbearable; and dealing with the hospital staff was less than pleasant. During all of this, I was also conducting phone sessions with some of my clients ( I am psychotherapist in private practice) since I had taken time off to spend with my friend and wasn't in my office.

It has been interesting how my friend and I have communicated about this experience now that she is more recovered. Just about every time we are together for any length of time we talk about different aspects of this time we spent in the hospital. These conversations are completely unplanned but seem to be "routinely spontaneous" at present. As a psychotherapist I can see very clearly what is happening; it's kind of like an "out of body" experience at times! We are working through the trauma by processing that week over and over from different angles. It can feel very odd to watch myself do for myself what I help others do all the time!

I haven't shared with my friend what we are "doing" and why it is so important. It's just helpful, interesting, and reassuring about how important it is to have people to "do life" with.